Your First Dances
Your First Dances
For anyone who hasn’t thought much about this part of the night, “first dances” traditionally refer to a set of three moments during the reception: the couple’s first dance as newlyweds, the father-daughter dance, and the mother-son dance. They’re usually treated as separate, spotlighted moments where everyone else clears the floor and watches. But there’s no rulebook that says it has to look that way, and I’ve got some thoughts on how to make it work better for you.
When Should You Have Your First Dance?
A lot of weddings still schedule this moment immediately after the grand entrance into their reception. The couple comes into the dinner space, they dance and then everyone sits down to eat and stares at an empty dance floor. I think the first dance should be the kick-off to your dancing festivities, not a one song wonder. I recommend building the first dance into the timeline after dinner, after the toasts and even your cake cutting. Ask the DJ to introduced you both to the dance floor to start the music portion of the night together. The parent dances immediately follow the couple’s dance rather than having to wait through dinner to start them up again.
As for what to do for your Grand Entrance? Work in a nice spin, maybe a dip and definitely a kiss on the dance floor before finding your seats for dinner. This is also a great time to thank your guests for coming before handing the microphone over to whoever is saying the blessing.
Exceptions: If the reception space is separate from the dance area and the lighting or visual surroundings are much better there, don’t save the dance for the dance floor. Capture the moment where you visualize it working best. If your photographer is scheduled to leave before dinner ends, you’ll want to fit your first dance in right after the grand entrance so that they can capture it.
Should you dance to the whole song? Dancing to an entire song can start to feel awkward, especially once you’ve hit your moves and everyone’s just watching you sway back and forth. I recommend asking the DJ to fade out the songs once they see a cue from one of you. A simple head nod or thumbs up should do.
Do you need to take dance lessons? You could, but there are several sources to help you on YouTube. Plan a date night in the living room and get ready by learning a few simple moves. This couple has some great tutorials online. Pause, pose and enjoy the moment together. The photos you get will be worth the time you put in, I promise!
Parent Dances: Amazing or Maybe a Little Awkward?
Not every family dynamic calls for the typical father-daughter dance or mother-son dance. Whether there was a divorce, an estranged parent, or just uneasy feelings about dancing in front of a crowd, do what makes sense for you and your family. I’ve had brides dance with their mothers, their sisters, and even their husband’s fathers instead of the traditional father-daughter dance. I’ve also had grooms dance with their mothers-in-law instead of the usual mother-son dance.
Forgo the Duets and Fill the Dance Floor Instead
If the idea of having all eyes on you in the middle of the dance floor makes you uncomfortable, have the DJ invite all the couples up for the first dance instead. It’s just as sweet when you’re surrounded by all of the couples you love.
Another way to take the pressure off: Grab both of your parents and share the song together. It’s still a sweet, sentimental moment, just without the extended spotlight on any one pair.
If it’s a parent who’s shy about dancing solo, ask the DJ to play their favorite song about 30 minutes into the dancing. Grab your parent and dance with them then. Just make sure your planner and photographer know ahead of time which wedding songs you want, so we can be ready to capture the moment.
At the end of the day, there’s no single right way to do your first dances. Whether that’s timing it around your grand entrance, skipping a parent dance that doesn’t feel right, or pulling everyone onto the floor with you, the goal is a moment that actually feels like you. If you’re not sure how to fit it all into your reception timeline, that’s exactly the kind of thing I love talking through with couples.
As an Austin wedding planner, I help couples build a reception timeline that fits their family and their vibe. Whether you are a bride and groom, bride and bride or groom and groom. We’ll refine your day together. Reach out and let’s figure out what makes sense for your day.